So, I am still weathering this storm… I find time to immerse myself in The Word as
I work on The Epic. It also helps to keep my spiritual armor in
place.
I have been very independent for my entire adult life. I became a parent while in college. I didn’t have the luxury of living off of my
parents. I had to be the parent. I had to be an example to my child of what it
is to be responsible, self-sufficient and successful. So I made myself. At least that is what I thought…
I spent so much time planning and developing myself like a
piece of real estate. I knew what
success was to me and I wanted to be that.
I wanted to be Super Woman! I
actually came to a point in my life where I felt on top of the world. I was able to provide for myself and my child
without any help. Or so I thought…
I look at my life now and I have all the elements of
success. I have an incredible husband who is by far the strongest and wisest man I know. I have beautiful, intelligent, healthy
children. I am educated, talented and I
have a “good government job” with great benefits. I have built a picture of success for myself
yet I feel I am lacking. I feel
incomplete. I feel insufficient.
After Eve and Adam ate the “forbidden fruit”, their
perspectives changed. Instead of being
pure, holy and without sin, they were now ashamed, cursed and mortal. They didn’t see their bodies as perfect
images of God Himself. They saw
themselves as naked and they tried to hide.
They made clothing out of leaves to cover their naked bodies. They wanted to cover up all their
vulnerabilities, their weaknesses, their guilt.
Just like I “made myself”, Eve made herself into something she thought
was acceptable to look at.
It is difficult for the human mind to accept the concept of
being naked. Who wants to expose their
vulnerabilities to the world? Not
me! So often we do what we think we
should do to be the people we think we are supposed to be. We make clothes for ourselves out of pitiful
leaves to cover up the beauty and perfection that God created with His Mind,
His Words and His Hands. Instead of
being true to the identity we have been given by our Creator, we let the
forbidden fruit poison the well from which we drink. We actually think we can make ourselves into
something better than what God created us to be. How preposterous it that?!
So Eve, after having a nice long chat with Satan, agreed
with him and his lies, and her mind was corrupted. Satan convinced Eve she was inadequate and
she felt ashamed. She made herself a
dress to cover up her shame. Then God
came and asked, “Why the heck are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?” And Eve, instead of owning up to her mistake,
blamed Satan for her dilemma. I have
done that. Many times. I have a thought and it sounds good in the
moment but after I put the thought into action and it blows up like a grenade,
I am quick to blame Satan. No, he may
have planted the seed but I should have known better. And after I realized my mistake, I should’ve repented right away instead of putting on a leaf dress and making up excuses...
I love The Bible.
Especially the Old Testament. I
am sure Eve had no idea that her life story would be written in the most read
book in the history of mankind. I am
confident that she is looking down from heaven and thankful that her experience
has helped reshape the conscious mind to stop operating on our own power and
rise up to our true identity in God.
I love my family. I
love myself. I love everything I add to
the world to make it a better place. I
know that all these elements are just icing on the cake of life. No matter what happens, I know I have to seek
God and trust in Him. No matter how
naked I feel. He made me and I am
perfect in His sight. He knew every
piece of me before I knew myself. He
knows what is best for me. So I guess
all that’s left for me to do is get rid of this raggedy leaf dress and let God
clothe me in His Love.
