Choose Life: You Are Worth Dying For

In recent times, Suicide is becoming a pretty hot topic in the media.  While I have some pretty strong opinions on this topic myself, I am choosing to look to The Word for answers rather than shoot off at the mouth with my worthless opinions...

Judas Iscariot is described as one of the most vile human beings in the scriptures.  Regardless of what anyone thinks of him, Judas was chosen by God and had a very specific purpose in Jesus' ministry.  Jesus spent enough time with Judas to be able to assess who he was and how he would fit into God's plan.  God often uses our weaknesses to show the world how strong He is.

There were multiple occasions when Jesus made it known that He was aware of Judas' unique purpose.  On one occasion, Jesus was delivering a message about the bread of life.  Many of His followers did not comprehend the message and became offended by Jesus' words.  Many became argumentative and left.  Jesus challenged the 12 by asking "You don't want to leave.  Or do you?"  He went on to add, "I chose you but one of you is a devil!"  All the disciples were professionals.  Judas was a professional con man.  He was aware of his sins and weaknesses and camouflaged his true nature from his fellow disciples very well.  He could not hide from Jesus.  Jesus kept him on his toes by calling him out. 

A week before The Last Supper, Jesus and the disciples went to a dinner party.  The party was hosted by Lazarus, who had been raised from the dead, and his sisters.  Mary, one of the sisters, poured perfume on Jesus' feet and wiped them with her hair.  Judas was upset by this action.  He complained about wasting expensive perfume but we know that wasn't what he found offensive.  After all, not one positive character trait had been used to describe Judas in the entire collection of The Gospels.  Judas made an attempt to find fault in Jesus. 

Jesus responded by defending Mary's actions.  That didn't go over too well with Judas.  For Jesus to come to the defense of a woman over His chosen disciple, no matter how big of a crook he was, that was offensive to Judas.  Satan himself responded to take advantage of the opportunity to destroy Jesus.  Judas met with the men who were plotting to kill Jesus.  The chief priests and teachers of the law were thrilled at the opportunity to work with one of Jesus' disciples.  They paid the professional con man well for his services. 

At His final Passover meal, Jesus knew His time was running short.  Jesus openly announced one of His beloved disciples was in fact an unfaithful back stabber.  Jesus gave Judas permission to carry out his plan of betrayal.  Judas was acting under Satan's deception but God used the evil deed for good.  A group of soldiers, priests and Pharisees were led straight to Jesus.  Judas identified Jesus under the dark veil of night and Jesus was arrested and later sentenced to death.

Judas Iscariot walk with Jesus for three years.  He witnessed first hand many miracles.  He heard Jesus' teachings, warnings and prophesies.  Kindness and mercy was extended to Judas but he refused to accept it.  The same way many of us refuse to receive God's kindness and mercy...  Maybe you feel you don't deserve it.   Maybe you just can't comprehend who God is and who you are in relation to Him.  Maybe you are overwhelmed with guilt and regret from a lifetime of bad decisions.

Judas chose to take his own life rather than repent for his sins.  he did not seek reconciliation with God for His betrayal.  Jesus clearly requested God's forgiveness on behalf of those who betrayed Him because they where lost and unaware.   Those three years had no impact on Judas because he was unable to see past the worst parts of himself and receive the gift of salvation from God.  Jesus taught forgiveness yet Judas was unable to forgive himself.  He just could not fathom a God who loves without limits or conditions.  I, me, myself am 100% convinced of this fact - that there is absolutely nothing that can separate me from God's love.  There is nothing that can separate you from the love of your Father. 

There is so much evil in this world.  It has the ability to overwhelm us all just like it did Judas.  none of us is perfect or innocent.  We have all done things that have caused shame and regret. 

The good news is, there is hope!

Hope is not found in people, places and things.  Hope is not found in achievements, wealth, or relationships.  I had to learn that myself the hard way, feeling hopeless and lost when I wanted things to give me a feeling that they were not capable of providing me. 

I found hope in The Lord.  He has big plans for me.  Plans for a future filled with hope and prosperity!  He saved me from death through His Word.  Prayer and meditation on His Word was the only prescription that worked to keep me alive.  Through Him, I have faith in what I cannot see with my natural eyes and I am confident He is working in my favor.  I do not allow the shadow of death that looms over me to have any power.  I choose to live and walk in faith that God is bigger than any temptation to relieve suffering through premature death. 

You must choose to see yourself the way God sees you.  You must live.  After all, you are worth dying for...
 

The Law of Equivalent Exchange

Mankind messed up big time by eating form The Tree of Knowledge.  It is difficult for me to fully understand what was actually gained from that act since the consequence clearly outweighed any benefit.  We lost a lot.

I have been watching Full Metal Alchemist - a captivating classic in the world of anime - with my family recently.  A concept that is repeated in every episode is the law of equivalent exchange.  This law states that something must be lost (sacrificed) in order for something to be gained (received). 

With each episode, I imagine Jesus - battered and bloody - nailed to a cross.  Dead as a door nail.  He died.  Jesus' death is very significant as it symbolizes the act of ultimate sacrifice to cleanse all of mankind for all of its sins.  Before His death, people were sacrificing animals to purify themselves from sin. 

Jesus' death is the equivalent exchange required to forgive all of our sins.

That means every sin, from the very first act of disobedience performed in the Garden of Eden to the very last committed by a soul who doesn't even exist yet in this world.  It's a difficult to grasp with the human mind because that's a whole lot of sins!  But that's the nature of God.  That's just how good He is. 

He has provided a way for us to be restored so we can renew our relationship with Him.  he lifted the curse.  And as Jesus rose from the dead and obtained everlasting life, we rose with Him and in the spiritual realm, we live forever. 

So if you are into science, or just a fan of anime, this is how the laws of nature can explain the laws of the spirit.  Because God is nature.  And he makes all things work together for good.

Be on the look out for "In the beginning...was Love".  

The first installment of The Epic!  

Scheduled for release on Easter 2018!

Anything you can do, God can do Better!

So, I am still weathering this storm…  I find time to immerse myself in The Word as I work on The Epic.  It also helps to keep my spiritual armor in place. 

I have been very independent for my entire adult life.  I became a parent while in college.  I didn’t have the luxury of living off of my parents.  I had to be the parent.  I had to be an example to my child of what it is to be responsible, self-sufficient and successful.  So I made myself.  At least that is what I thought…

I spent so much time planning and developing myself like a piece of real estate.  I knew what success was to me and I wanted to be that.  I wanted to be Super Woman!  I actually came to a point in my life where I felt on top of the world.  I was able to provide for myself and my child without any help.  Or so I thought…

I look at my life now and I have all the elements of success.  I have an incredible husband who is by far the strongest and wisest man I know.  I have beautiful, intelligent, healthy children.  I am educated, talented and I have a “good government job” with great benefits.  I have built a picture of success for myself yet I feel I am lacking.  I feel incomplete.  I feel insufficient.

After Eve and Adam ate the “forbidden fruit”, their perspectives changed.  Instead of being pure, holy and without sin, they were now ashamed, cursed and mortal.  They didn’t see their bodies as perfect images of God Himself.  They saw themselves as naked and they tried to hide.  They made clothing out of leaves to cover their naked bodies.  They wanted to cover up all their vulnerabilities, their weaknesses, their guilt.  Just like I “made myself”, Eve made herself into something she thought was acceptable to look at. 

It is difficult for the human mind to accept the concept of being naked.  Who wants to expose their vulnerabilities to the world?  Not me!  So often we do what we think we should do to be the people we think we are supposed to be.  We make clothes for ourselves out of pitiful leaves to cover up the beauty and perfection that God created with His Mind, His Words and His Hands.  Instead of being true to the identity we have been given by our Creator, we let the forbidden fruit poison the well from which we drink.  We actually think we can make ourselves into something better than what God created us to be.  How preposterous it that?! 

So Eve, after having a nice long chat with Satan, agreed with him and his lies, and her mind was corrupted.  Satan convinced Eve she was inadequate and she felt ashamed.  She made herself a dress to cover up her shame.  Then God came and asked, “Why the heck are you wearing that ridiculous outfit?”  And Eve, instead of owning up to her mistake, blamed Satan for her dilemma.  I have done that.  Many times.  I have a thought and it sounds good in the moment but after I put the thought into action and it blows up like a grenade, I am quick to blame Satan.  No, he may have planted the seed but I should have known better.  And after I realized my mistake, I should’ve repented right away instead of putting on a leaf dress and making up excuses...

I love The Bible.  Especially the Old Testament.  I am sure Eve had no idea that her life story would be written in the most read book in the history of mankind.  I am confident that she is looking down from heaven and thankful that her experience has helped reshape the conscious mind to stop operating on our own power and rise up to our true identity in God.

I love my family.  I love myself.  I love everything I add to the world to make it a better place.  I know that all these elements are just icing on the cake of life.  No matter what happens, I know I have to seek God and trust in Him.  No matter how naked I feel.  He made me and I am perfect in His sight.  He knew every piece of me before I knew myself.  He knows what is best for me.  So I guess all that’s left for me to do is get rid of this raggedy leaf dress and let God clothe me in His Love.  

I need to change ME

“When I look back over my life

And I think things over

I can truly say that I’ve been blessed

I got a testimony…”  -Reverend Clay Evans

This has been a rough season in my life.  I have been through tough times before and I thank God that through His grace and mercy I am still alive and well.  Sometimes, I don’t feel well but God… Well let me tell you the story from the top.

So I was praying while on my way to work one day.  I was just pouring my heart out, crying, complaining, and reciting scriptures.  Begging the Lord to stop the pain I was feeling and calm the storms in my life so I can rest and have peace.  I got to a point where I became quiet in hopes I would hear a word from God.  He spoke to me just as loud and clear as if He were sitting in the car next to me.  He asked, “Does the sun stop shining during a storm?”

So I looked up at the sky.  It was a cloudy day and the dark clouds held threats of rain.  It was definitely day time however the clouds were blocking my view of the sun.  I knew the sun was there beyond the clouds.  I knew that because the sun is constant.  It never changes its position.  The moon revolves around the earth and the earth revolves around the sun but the sun never moves an inch.  The weather, seasons and times change due to the ever changing position of the earth and moon.  It has nothing to do with the sun. 

As the message sank into my brain and I began to grasp what God was trying to teach me, tears streamed down my face.  God isn’t going to do a thing for me that He hasn’t already done.  He has already healed me.  He has already saved me.  He has already given me His Spirit and He has forgiven me of my sins.  He has redeemed me, restored me renewed me through the blood of His Son Jesus Christ.  He has done all He can for me so how do I end this pain?  I have to change my position!  Just like the earth and the moon line up a certain way and then suddenly winter turns into spring.  All that was dead comes to life.  All that was in hibernation is awakened.  I need to change and let the glow of God’s goodness make a rainbow from the rain. 

Now I am praising Him in this storm.  I am thankful for the lesson He is teaching me.  I am grateful for this test turning into a testimony.  I am worn out from battling but I am not weary.  I am tired but I find rest in my Savior.  I am renewed daily and I am filled to overflowing with the joy and strength of God.  But that is all by choice.  I can choose to cry in the storm or I can choose to laugh.  Why be depressed when I can be happy?  I just think of all the things I have overcome, all that God has blessed me with.  I have so much to be thankful for!  I have a million reasons to smile and rejoice and be glad!

Are you going through a tough season?  Are you traveling in a storm?  Just look to the sky and see the glory of God through the clouds.  He is constant and He is here.  He isn’t going anywhere.  You just need to change your own perspective and get in line with God.  

Me And You Will Never Part

God created man.  We are God’s creation. 

When God created Adam, they walked together and talked like friends.  Adam was constantly in the presence of the Creator of everything!  Yet, he was not satisfied.  Adam longed for something different, something more. 

God eventually gave Adam a woman.  A like-partner, created from Adam’s own body.  Eve was literally created by God for Adam yet their relationship, imperfect and flawed, led to their dismissal from the Garden of Eden. 

Before I knew my parents - before I even knew myself - God knew me.  My first relationship was with God, my Creator.  Ultimately, God comes first above any relationship.  My relationship with God should be is the most important relationship I have.  I can lose favor with man but God said in His word that He would never leave me nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6), He is always with me (Matthew 28:20) and nothing can separate me from Him (Romans 8:38-39).

Why then is He not good enough for me?  Why is my relationship with Him not fulfilling?  Why do I long to have man’s love and approval more than I long for God?

God, our Creator, designed us with the ability to make choices.  We all know very early on that there is a void in our lives.  Some try to fill the void with success and wealth, others try to fill the void with addictions and perversions.  Some of us try to fill the void with relationships – a romantic partner, a parent, a child, a friend.  We seek approval and love through things that were made by our Creator instead of seeking a relationship with the only one who can fill that void.  He created us so naturally He should know what we need and be capable of providing it.        

As Christians, we already know all this – mentally.  I feel kind of shameful to even admit that I have known what God requires of me yet I chose not to do my part because…well…it just didn’t make sense.  I needed someone I could physically feel, someone who I could talk to and hear them talk to me.  I wanted, like Adam, another human to walk with because walking with God just wasn’t cutting the mustard for me.  It wasn’t until recently that the light bulb came on for me.  I put my earthly relationships above my relationship with God.  When my earthly relationships began to crumble, I felt myself falling apart.  I was so dependent upon people that when they let me down, I felt that void grow even deeper and wider than it had ever been before.  God showed me my errors.

First, I was disobeying His commandments by putting other “gods” before Him.  Second, I believed with my head and not my heart.  My heart belonged to the world. I knew God but I didn’t really know God.  Also, I needed to change if I expect to have the life God wants me to have.  God said He is my provider – not man.  God said He is my protector – not man.  God said He is my joy – not man.  God said He is my peace – not man.

And the journey continues…  I am telling you, this road has not been easy but I can finally see the finish line.  I will finish this race.  I will finish strong!  I have my battle scars but none of my wounds have been fatal thanks to God.  He gives me strength to keep going and I thank Him for every step that He takes with me.  May God strengthen you on your journey also as you grow and mature in Him. 

We...Can Be...New

I have been obsessed with Amel Larrieux for several years.  Her voice is so magical, I am confident it holds the cure for every disease.  You just have to listen to her to understand… Prepare to be blown away!

One of my favorite songs by Amel is “We Can Be New”.  Yes, it is a love song but to me, it is much more than a romantic ballad.  To me, it is a song of hope.  It inspires the listener not to dwell on the past –hurts, fears, disappointments, loss – but to look forward to experiencing love, healing, restoration and happiness.  In order to “get over” the past, you have to leave it all behind.  Amel says to shed it off like trees do with leaves.  In the fall, those dead leaves fall off and expose a vulnerable, naked tree.  Eventually the spring comes with life and new leaves to make the tree appear stronger and more beautiful than before!

One of my favorite testimonies of hope is the story of Joseph in the Old Testament.  He was his father’s favorite child and was probably spoiled beyond imagination.  He faced adversity from his jealous siblings and ultimately they got rid of him and told their father he was dead.  Joseph spent some time in prison and spent some time as a servant.  During those low times, the spoiled son of a wealthy man could have wallowed in sadness and despair but he chose to be hopeful.  Eventually, he experiences a change in his life and he was appointed to a position of royalty!  He was reunited with his family and they all lived happily ever after.  Living happily ever after was a choice.  If he had held on to anger and unforgiveness, his story would have turned out much different.  I am glad he chose to turn something bad into something good.  Now Joseph’s story inspires millions of people around the world and across generations.   

Life is filled with hardships but I am a firm believer that no matter what you are faced with, you must figure out how to overcome and move on.  I don’t like to lose when I am very passionate and committed to something.  Heck, I don’t believe anyone does!  When I experience loss and disappointment, I usually take it pretty hard and wallow in my feelings for a while.  I am learning to stop wallowing and expedite the healing.  I expedite the healing by thinking and speaking words of positivity and hope in reference to my situation.  If I am sad and speak and think sadness, I will stay sad.  If I am sad but speak and think joy, I will have joy.  It’s about as magical as Amel’s voice.  You just have to try it to understand…  Prepare to be blown away!

Heirs Of God's Kingdom

The world has a nasty habit of dividing us.  We are all categorized based on our race, our religion, our age, our gender, etc.  Even in our family relationships, we are divided. 

Coming from a blended family myself, I can testify that the world attempted to divide us.  I never recognized my older sister as a “half sister”, even though we had different biological fathers.  I never heard my father referred to as her “step father”.  Those categories did not exist in my family though outsiders attempted to force the world’s labels and categories on us.  I never felt like my older sister was less of my sister because of our different biology.  To me, she was and still is just my sister. 

It bothers me to hear families divided into categories.  There should be no “step”, “half”, “foster”, “adopted”, etc.  You are either a part of the family or you’re not.  Plain and simple.  I have recently realized this way of thinking, my way of thinking, is not the world’s way.  It is the Kingdom Way.

Romans 4 details that Abraham was credited with righteousness because of his faith; not because he was a Jew.  There are many passages in the New Testament Epistles where Paul explains to Christians that being a Jew or being circumcised doesn’t automatically give you favor with God.  Your faith is what sets you apart and gives you salvation.  After Jesus Christ was sacrificed for our sins, His blood covered us all.  His blood made all believers heirs of God.  So I don’t have to be born into a Jewish blood line or get myself circumcised to attain salvation.  I just need faith (to start with anyway…).

Romans 8 states that those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  We must obey God and carry ourselves like we are His children because we are!  In a household with natural born children, stepchildren and foster children, you will find that they all have different levels of respect and obedience towards the parent/guardian.  The natural born children know they belong to the family and therefore are more likely to be obedient and show respect to the parent.  The stepchildren may be obedient and show respect when it’s convenient.  The foster children, knowing this is a temporary home, may have zero respect and obedience toward their guardian.   Likewise, the natural parent will stop at nothing to provide for their children.  The step parent or foster parent may not feel the same obligation or responsibility for the children in their care.  Now, this is based on the world’s standard.  If it doesn’t apply to your situation, that’s great!  But we all know that the world operates opposite than God operates.

I am so thankful that God, my Father, is not like an earthly father.  And though I am a Gentile, I am not treated with neglect or abuse.  He loves me with the same love He had for Abraham, because I am saved by grace through faith.  All of us are under the penalty of death through the sin of Adam but because of Jesus’ death and resurrection, we can be born again, made new and receive eternal life as an heir to the kingdom of God! 

So stop acting like God’s step child!  He is waiting for you to walk in faith that you have a seat at the dinner table with Jesus.  Get rid of the doubt that clouds your mind.  That is the devil trying to destroy you and bring you back into your sinful nature.  You are a rightful heir and salvation is yours.