Be Quiet

When I am angry, upset, frustrated, stressed, I tend to make bad decisions.  During those moments, I often find my mind overwhelmed with thoughts and negativity.  In the chaos of those thoughts and feelings, I sometimes lash out and say or do things I regret almost instantly.  Then I have to humble myself and apologize to those I offended, something I am not usually excited to do...  I have wrecked countless relationships based on some wild words loosed from my lips in a fit of rage.  Sometimes the damage done in anger can be costly beyond what we can immediately repay.  Sometimes the damage done is irreparable. 

Between the busyness at home and at work, it is difficult to find a quiet place to just relax and clear my head so I can hear God’s voice in the midst of the chaos.  I have to constantly remind myself to use my time wisely.  Instead of having a large chunk of time to devote to God at a single point in my day, I find it easier to find God in multiple small moments during the day.  While I am in the shower, in the garage after I come home from work, while I am cooking dinner, and when I go to the spa to get my nails done, I pray and ask God to be my strength when I am weak and give me restraint when my flesh wants to cave in to evil.

Before I lash out in anger, I need to remind myself to be quiet and allow God’s peace to cleanse me of those negative thoughts and feelings before they pour out of my mouth or manifest themselves through my actions.  As a follower of Christ, we all need to remember the old way of doing business has to become extinct.  We can’t continue to have petty squabbles with our loved ones.  We can’t curse people out when they are mean and nasty to us.  We can’t allow the devil to drag us back to where we came from.  In the midst of the tumult and clamor, we have to take a second and really ask ourselves, “How can I resolve this in a manner which would make God proud?”  Or even take the classic saying, “WWJD?” 

Even a fool is assumed to be wise when he is silent.       

Call For Service

This past work week was a spiritually challenging one for me.  Each day, I handled calls for service regarding troubled youth.  It’s typical for me to respond to situations where children are behaving badly however this week was different.  It made me question my effectiveness not only as a police officer but also as a Christian.

I will start with Sierra.  A morbidly obese teenage girl with gender identity issues.  She is a habitual run away who is known to hang out with adults who will feed her cigarette and alcohol addictions.  Sierra was sexually assaulted multiple times and after the most recent assault, she made threats to commit suicide.  Sierra attempted to runaway yet again and her parents were forced to physically restrain her in an attempt to keep her home.  They were afraid she would make good on her threats to kill herself and felt helpless to stop her.  So they called me.  When I arrived to their home, Sierra stretched out her arms, ran towards me and hugged me tight.  I usually don’t allow people to hug me while on duty but I made an exception for Sierra because she looked like she needed it.  With her snot and tears covering my uniform, I thought to myself, “What can I possibly say to make her okay?”   As a patrol officer, I have a limited amount of time for each call for service.  It’s an overwhelming task to try and effectively fix a lifetime of pain and bad choices in a matter of minutes.  I did console her as best I could but I left her feeling like what I gave was not enough…

The following day, I met Lisa.  She was in foster care because her mother was serving time in prison.  Her extended family would not take her due to her anger management issues.  Lisa’s foster mother called for police assistance because she was she was tearing up the house in a fit of rage.  When I arrived at the home, Lisa burst into tears.  She said she was angry because she felt unloved and no one wanted her.  She said she wanted to go home over and over as she cried on my shoulder.  My heart cried with her as I once again searched for an encouraging word to leave with her.  When I left her, she appeared to be calm and in better spirits however I didn’t feel I gave her what she truly needed…

Last but not least, there was John.  At the end of my emotionally draining work week, memories of him came to mind.  John was one of my friends in high school.  We hung out occasionally in our neighborhood, laughed together during our brief moments away from home and school life.  He lived in an abusive home environment, often beaten by his father and older brothers.  He didn’t talk about it much but his wounds were obviously visible.  I wanted to offer him comfort, an escape, a safe place.  But I was a kid too and I didn’t believe I had anything to offer other than my time and attention.  John committed suicide in 11^th grade.  Whenever I think of him, I feel so much grief.  I wish I could’ve been his lifeboat in that raging sea he was drowning in.  I wish he could’ve received the help and the love he longed for so desperately. It eats at me that I did not save him…     

In our lives, we are sent to calls for service daily.  Some we are overly prepared for and some take us by surprise.  This is why prayer and bible study is so important!  You never know when God will guide you to a soul who needs to be saved and you will be called to lead them out of darkness.  Showing love, patience, kindness and sympathy can go a long way in the life of a person who is longing desperately for a ray of hope.  Extending yourself to someone in need of a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen can be that lifeline they needed to come out from that dark place.  Failure to immerse yourself in God’s Word will leave you tongue tied or cause you to utter empty, cliché words. 

It is my prayer that the Lord gives me the ability to answer His calls for service in such a way that I can be a vessel of His love.  I pray that God uses me to bring light to someone who is in a dark place and encourage them to find strength in Him.  I pray that God uses you, no matter where you are in life, to be aware of His Voice, answer His Call and be a beacon of light in this dark world.  We need each other.  In order to be a source of hope and comfort to each other, we need God. 

Answer His Call.

You Sent Me The Stars

I remember the sun
I remember the day
I remember the heat
From Your Glorious Rays
I could hold my head high
I could smile happily
I could feel confident
Because you were with me
Your Word deep in my heart
Songs of praise on my lips
You said You'd never leave
I had You in my grips
But then the sun sank down
Slowly the darkness came
Suddenly all alone
Why did You go away?
In the blackness of night
I sat sobbing with grief
My instinct to survive
Caved in to disbelief
I saw the wolves and snakes
Their glowing teeth and eyes
I felt myself transform
Into one of those guys
I knew that wasn't me
Because I'm not like them
I needed a way out
I needed Light again
So I cried out to You,
"Please show me that You're here
I need You back with me
I need You to be near."
My head was lifted up
My eyes were opened wide
I stood on my two feet
And then I realized
You had never left me
To suffer all these scars
All I needed to do
Was look up at The Stars...


Back before maps, flashlights, GPS, and other similar technology, someone looked up all the stars and made an ingenious discovery.  The stars are patterned in such a way, one could be guided from here to there just by following the stars.  The Word of God is a Light in a cold, dark world.  God's Words are our stars. 


You are never alone.  You are not a victim of your circumstance.  You are not a failure.  You are not defined by your mistakes.  God's Love is greater than all those obstacles in your path.  God's Love is strong enough to lift you up, wash you clean, and set you on The Path to Righteousness.  And even when you are distracted and lose your way, you can be guided back to Him by meditating on His Word.


All of creation has a purpose.  Temptations are built to strengthen our faith.  There is no struggle we can't overcome with God.  Have faith and...


LOOK UP AT THE STARS!