This past work week was a spiritually challenging one for
me. Each day, I handled calls for service
regarding troubled youth. It’s typical
for me to respond to situations where children are behaving badly however this week
was different. It made me question my
effectiveness not only as a police officer but also as a Christian.
I will start with Sierra.
A morbidly obese teenage girl with gender identity issues. She is a habitual run away who is known to
hang out with adults who will feed her cigarette and alcohol addictions. Sierra was sexually assaulted multiple times
and after the most recent assault, she made threats to commit suicide. Sierra attempted to runaway yet again and her
parents were forced to physically restrain her in an attempt to keep her
home. They were afraid she would make
good on her threats to kill herself and felt helpless to stop her. So they called me. When I arrived to their home, Sierra
stretched out her arms, ran towards me and hugged me tight. I usually don’t allow people to hug me while
on duty but I made an exception for Sierra because she looked like she needed
it. With her snot and tears covering my uniform,
I thought to myself, “What can I possibly say to make her okay?” As a patrol officer, I have a limited amount of time for each call for service. It’s
an overwhelming task to try and effectively fix a lifetime of pain and bad
choices in a matter of minutes. I did
console her as best I could but I left her feeling like what I gave was not
enough…
The following day, I met Lisa. She was in foster care because her mother was
serving time in prison. Her extended
family would not take her due to her anger management issues. Lisa’s foster mother called for police
assistance because she was she was tearing up the house in a fit of rage. When I arrived at the home, Lisa burst into
tears. She said she was angry because
she felt unloved and no one wanted her.
She said she wanted to go home over and over as she cried on my
shoulder. My heart cried with her as I once
again searched for an encouraging word to leave with her. When I left her, she appeared to be calm and
in better spirits however I didn’t feel I gave her what she truly needed…
Last but not least, there was John. At the end of my emotionally draining work
week, memories of him came to mind. John
was one of my friends in high school. We hung out occasionally in our neighborhood, laughed together during our brief
moments away from home and school life. He
lived in an abusive home environment, often beaten by his father and older
brothers. He didn’t talk about it much
but his wounds were obviously visible. I wanted to offer him comfort, an escape, a safe place. But I was a kid too and I didn’t believe I
had anything to offer other than my time and attention. John committed suicide in 11th
grade. Whenever I think of him, I feel
so much grief. I wish I could’ve been
his lifeboat in that raging sea he was drowning in. I wish he could’ve received the help and the
love he longed for so desperately. It eats at me that I did not save him…
In our lives, we are sent to calls for service daily. Some we are overly prepared for and some take
us by surprise. This is why prayer and bible
study is so important! You never know
when God will guide you to a soul who needs to be saved and you will be called
to lead them out of darkness. Showing love, patience, kindness and sympathy can go a long way in the life of a person
who is longing desperately for a ray of hope.
Extending yourself to someone in need of a shoulder to cry on or an ear
to listen can be that lifeline they needed to come out from that dark
place. Failure to immerse yourself in
God’s Word will leave you tongue tied or cause you to utter empty, cliché words.
It is my prayer that the Lord gives me the ability to answer His calls for service in such a way that I can be a vessel of His love. I pray that God uses me to bring light to
someone who is in a dark place and encourage them to find strength in Him. I pray that God uses you, no matter where you
are in life, to be aware of His Voice, answer His Call and be a beacon of light
in this dark world. We need each
other. In order to be a source of hope
and comfort to each other, we need God.
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