Parenting

My two children are my greatest blessings.  God gifted them to me at just the right time in my life and they have brought me great joy.  Since becoming a mother, I find that I have more motivation than ever to be the best I can be so that my children will have a positive role model in me and be inspired to accomplish the goals they set for themselves in life. 

One of my faults in parenting is that I often think of my children as my personal possessions.  As a child, I loved playing with dolls.  I cared for them like they were human.   I always kept their hair brushed and made sure they were well dressed.  I even talked to them like they were real and assured them of my love on a regular basis.  After my son was born, I treated him exactly the same way as I treated my dolls.  I always made sure he had nice clothes and shoes to wear, even if that meant I had to go without quality clothing and footwear.  I spent a good portion of my hard earned income on healthy food and quality child care.  I smothered him with my love and showered him with any worldly possession imaginable to make sure he was always entertained and well educated.  I always told him how much I loved him and I proved it by using all my resources to give him things and opportunities that I did not have when I was a child. 

I do the same with my daughter.  As a small child, I was very timid and shy.  I was often bullied and teased so eventually I learned to be tough as a means to defend myself.  After my husband and I were married, I prayed to God night and day for my daughter.  Before she was even born, I knew she was going to be the most beautiful, intelligent, confident little girl in God’s creation.  From conception, I called her my princess because I want her to be the beautiful, carefree child that I was not.  I always call her “my pretty princess” and have begun building the foundation for her to be the woman I want her to be.   

Then suddenly I realized I was making a terrible mistake.  I was imposing my will on my children instead of allowing them to seek out God’s will for their lives.  I was attempting to live vicariously through them, stealing their opportunity to make their own choices, and forcing them to be what I wanted them to be. 

After much prayer and meditation on God’s word, I am trying to transform my idea of parenting to allow God to have His way with my children and stop interfering with God’s plan.  I know I must trust God with my babies because they in fact are not mine.  They are not possessions like the dolls of my childhood.  They are God’s creation.  God allowed my husband and I to be their parents but that does not make us their owners.  We are to teach them God’s word and show them how to live godly lives.  We are not to dictate every step of their lives.  We must trust God to order their steps just like God has ordered ours.  I am confident that if God could do wondrous things in my life, He can do the same with my children.  No matter what God has in store for my children, I have to believe that they will be better off in His hands than in any plan I could ever possibly imagine.

Throughout the Bible, there are a multitude of stories of parents and their children.  I would recommend everyone to read those stories and be inspired.  The story I am most inspired by is Mary and Jesus.  Mary knew Jesus’ destiny the moment He was conceived.  How painful it must have felt to know her first born son would have to succumb to such a painful, torturous end!  How powerless she must have felt to stand there and watch her child murdered at the hands of those He was sent to save!  Yet she was obedient and never imposed her will upon her child.  She allowed God’s good and perfect plan to transpire and in part of her faithfulness and trust in God, we all are saved by His sacrifice!  Let us all be inspired to trust in God to direct the paths of our children for they are our future and only He knows their destiny…