Everybody hurts...Sometime.

I don’t get sick.  Like for real, I am NEVER sick.  Never broke a bone or had any serious injury.  The only time I have been to the hospital was to bring someone else who was sick or injured.  Okay, okay, that isn’t entirely true.  My children were all born in a hospital.  Though I wasn’t sick or injured and my children were all perfectly healthy, I desperately needed medication for the pain of childbirth.  Me and pain don’t work well together.  When I see pain of any kind coming my way, I do everything I can to prevent it from crossing my path.  Childbirth, in my experience, has been very painful even with all the modern medication the hospitals have on hand.  When I am in pain, all I want is for the pain to stop.  Immediately. But sometimes, as with childbirth, it goes on and on and on; overstaying its welcome like that creepy relative who invites himself over for dinner and decides to spend the night.  Thank the Lord that childbirth doesn’t last forever.  It is over as quickly as it starts in my experience.  The only bright side to the pain of childbirth is the beautiful blessing that emerges from the womb: the miracle of life!

We all experience pain in some form or another in life.  Whether it’s just a stubbed toe or an impalement, pain is in the “eye of the beholder” so to speak.  We all handle the pain differently.  I have seen a man who was shot in the stomach, talking and acting as though he was perfectly fine.  I have also seen a man whose arm was slightly grazed by a bullet, freaking out as if he was on his death bed.  I was pepper sprayed while in training at the police department and I was crying and gasping for air for at least an hour.  That pain was intense!  Afterwards, I felt so ashamed at how ridiculous I made myself look.  I wish I had handled it more gracefully, with some toughness and dignity.  Instead I had drool and snot running down my face, all over my shirt and a picture published all over social media to prove it! So embarrassing…

I guess the moral of this story is that we are all in this together.  “This” meaning life.  And life sucks tremendously at times but most times it is so wonderful and beautiful.  When we go through pain, we choose how to handle ourselves.  Regardless of how painful the experience is, we can suck it up and take it like a man or we can cry and snot and drool like a complete idiot.  Either way, it’s your prerogative.  I can’t dictate to you how to handle your situation.  Even if I have been in your exact situation.  I am not you and I can’t judge the way you handle it.  When I was in labor with my last child, the doctor was doing a lousy job of coaching me and talking to me as if I was posing for a photo shoot instead of pushing a human being out of my lady parts.  Thank God my husband was standing at my left side and a nurse at my right to gently talk me through the process and help me get through the struggle in a way that actually encouraged me to handle the situation like a queen.  If it weren’t for them, I would probably have cursed at least 12 times. 

In elementary school, I did a presentation on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  I wanted to use a quote that was unique (to me anyway) because we have all heard “I have a dream” a million times and could recite it verbatim in our sleep.  I chose the following quote and I still think of it from time to time (it's weird how this random stuff pops into my head but I'm so thankful my head is filled with more positive than negative):

“At times, life is hard, as hard as crucible steel. It has its bleak and painful moments. Like the ever flowing water of a river, life has its moments of drought and its moments of flood. Like the ever changing cycle of the seasons, life has the soothing warmth of the summers and the piercing chill of its winters. But through it all, God walks with us. Never forget that God is able to lift you from the fatigue of despair to the buoyancy of hope, and transform dark and desolate valleys into sunlit paths of inner peace.”

Though pain is, well, painful, one thing is for sure – pain doesn’t last forever.  It has to end sometime.  Through the storms in life and through the sunshine, God is always with us.  Satan and his demons will taunt us and try to bring out the worst in us during times of pain.  If you are still and quiet during the pain, you can hear God’s voice coaching you through so you can maintain some grace and dignity in spite of the circumstance.  I don’t always conduct myself like a queen.  Sometimes I get quite pissed off at the pain and lash out but more and more I choose to be still and quiet and let God soothe me and talk me through it. 

As you go through your pain, I want to encourage you and let you know that you are not alone.  I feel pain too.  You may see me at my weak moments and I may see you at yours.  Don’t worry, I won’t judge you and I won’t tell anybody.  But I hope when we see each other, we won’t even be able to see pain.  We will just see joy.    

Relentless Pursuit

Jesus Culture has a song titled “Fierce” that I absolutely love.  After listening to the song several times in the car with my husband, it brought to mind scenes from disaster movies I had seen.

 

Imagine a thousand foot wave rushing toward you while you are walking among a crowd of people through a major city.  Imagine driving in your car with your entire family and you are surrounded by multiple tornadoes.  Imagine being a first responder at the scene of a volcano eruption with flaming lava flowing toward you. In many of these movies, you will see masses of people running in vain to find safety from the disaster.  Some find refuge while others become casualties of the storm.  In many of these movies, you will even find some of the characters don't even bother to run.  They accept their fate and succumb to the power of the storm.

We can compare God's love to these disaster movies.  God's love isn't scary and won't kill us so try to look at it from a different perspective.  God's love is massive, inescapable, and mighty.  Whether or not we want to acknowledge God, we all will ultimately have to face Him.  You can either continue to run or you can submit to Him.  

Usually, the people who submit to the storm in the disaster movies are either badly injured, elderly or trapped.  They physically cannot even attempt to escape the storm.  Some of us are like that.  We wait until late in life, after we have made a big mess of our lives, to finally yield to God's will.  

There is a particular part of the song that speaks directly to my spirit.  It goes, "You chase me down.  You seek me out.  How can I be lost when You have called me found?"  Now imagine that tsunami coming straight at you.  It's snatching up dozens of casualties in its path yet it seems to be coming straight at you.  It's almost like you are the target of the storm.  Well, that is how God loves.  You can see how He has impacted the lives of those around you but you also have a very personal, intimate relationship with Him.  There are times when thee enemy may get into your head and remind you of past mistakes or even more recent sins.  Yet the word of God reminds us of the sacrifice made on our behalf so that we can be called His children!  God cannot lie and He cannot go back on his promise.  

I am tired.  I am old.  I am weak and injured.  I don't want to run anymore.  I just want to lay here and let God's love wash over me.  I want to surrender to His will so that I will begin to have success in this life on a level that only can be achieved through Him.  I invite you to lay here with me and let God take over your life.  

The Sickness

Judge Judy is a very wise woman.  She sometimes tells of a pint of blueberries with one rotten berry in the container.  She says the one rotten berry must be removed right away or else it will cause all the other berries to become rotten.  It’s mysterious how the multitude of healthy berries cannot cause the one rotten berry to become healthy also. 

This is real life.  Oftentimes it takes one person with a bad attitude to ruin everyone else’s day.  When you plan a party or other special event, you take care to invite people who will enjoy the moment with you.  People who won’t complain about the food, be rude to other guests, hostile to the host or any other negative acts.  Most times, we can’t avoid people with bad attitudes.  They may be coworkers, family members or friends we come in contact with on a regular basis. 

Or maybe you are the person with the bad attitude.  You surely can’t uninvited yourself from a party.

We who call ourselves Christians, followers of Christ, MUST change nature.  We must be the multitude of healthy berries that makes the rotten berry good.  We must not shy away from negative people but seek them out in an effort to show them God’s love.  In order to do that, you must take a good look at yourself.  Evaluate what is inside of you.  Are you filled with resentment, rudeness, impatience, jealousy, low self-esteem?  Those aren’t attributes of a loving Christian.  Those aren’t characteristics of the Holy Spirit.  You must transform yourself before you can attempt to transform anyone else. 

I know I struggle to be the woman God wants me to be.  I get caught up in my emotions when I feel someone has mistreated me.  I hate to be disrespected or insulted.  I can’t stand when people are inconsiderate.  I know I need to get over all that and stop letting my emotions cause me to be upset.  I need to be happy even when I don’t feel like being happy.  I need to show love to people who do wrong to me.  I need to have a positive attitude at all times even when I am angry.

How is that possible?  Honestly, I have no idea.  I am still learning.  I am fasting, praying and studying the scripture until I figure it out.  And even after I figure it out, I am going to continue to fast, pray and study scripture so I never forget.

Know a tree by its fruits - NOT by its roots

When I lived up north, I was often asked to divulge my nationality.  People seem to judge others based on one's race and wanted to know if I was Latina or mixed race.  After I moved down south, people were more concerned about my last name.  The determining factor in judgement was one's ancestry.  Regardless if I was being judged on my race, nationality or family history, I was being judged using factors that don't accurately define me.  I am Black but so are billions of other people.  Are all Black people the same?  My last name is my husband's last name.  How can you figure out who I am based off my husband's family tree?  This is something that has annoyed me since childhood.  It is frustrating to me that people think they can know me by inquiring about my roots.  It would be far more accurate a practice to actually get to know me for who I am as an individual.

When you walk through an orchard, do you examine the roots of each tree to determine what kind of tree it is?  Of course not!  That would be pretty silly since most roots look the same.  All you have to do is look at the fruit and you will clearly see what kind of tree it is.  Jesus warned us about false prophets who are wolves in sheep's clothing.  You shouldn't form an opinion of someone solely based upon their physical appearance, their level of education, their family history, etc.  You have to look at the person's character in order to know who they really are.

So what are the characteristics of an evil person?  There are many ways a person can demonstrate evil.  Some can be violent and perverted while others can be selfish and divisive.  Evil comes in many forms and some not as obvious as others.  

What are the characteristics of a godly person?  Galatians 5:22-23 tell us the fruits of The Spirit which are the characteristics of a godly person.  Those characteristics are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  As children of God, we must be mindful to practice displaying these characteristics so people will see us and judge us accordingly.  Behaving in this manner is not just pleasing to God, but it will bring others who are lost closer to God as well.  

So let's stop looking to know someone based on attributes that don't matter.  Instead, nurture the fruits of The Spirit inside yourself and be the person God has designed you to be.  

  

Log in my Eye

The white girl in the horror movies.  I hate her more than I have ever hated anyone else in my life.  She knows she is in imminent danger yet she does not protect herself.  She has a chance to escape but she fails.  All she manages to do is fall to the ground, most times half naked, and scream; ultimately getting herself killed.

The worst part is this girl isn’t even real!  She is a fictional movie character!  So why do I get so worked up about her?  Probably because we have so much in common…

You see, I have found myself running from monsters half naked through the woods.  I fell down and screamed until finally the monster caught up with me.  As he loomed over me, vulnerable and afraid, I did nothing but wait to be slaughtered.  I am a real girl, not a fictitious character in a movie.  I judge her because I am ashamed of my own life.  I wish I had the courage to stand up and fight against the monsters.  I wish I didn’t let him kill me nearly every single day. 

The fact is, when we judge others, it is often due to some deficiency in ourselves.  It’s like looking into a mirror and seeing a stranger doing all the wrong things.  You are mad at your reflection when you should be mad at yourself.   

The Bible instructs us not to judge others.  We can obviously discern right from wrong but we aren’t to condemn those who do wrong.  We are called to be merciful and forgiving.  God has mercy on me each time I am slaughtered in those dark woods.  He breathes new life into me, restores my health and gives me another opportunity to face the monsters with His armor.  He will never leave me nor will he forsake me.  It is time for me to pull this log out of my eye.  Maybe then I can have a better visual of my real enemy…   

He is jealous for me...

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There was a time when there was absolutely nothing in existence.  Not even time.  Nothing existed except God.  God conceived in His mind “The Creation” and spoke each molecule of it into being.  God established Himself as the creator of all life.  From this, we can know with all certainty that we are God’s creation, made in His perfect image and for His divine purpose. 

Now I want you to imagine you are Superman and you are married to the most beautiful woman in the world.  She is so beautiful, she constantly faces temptation from other men to leave you.  Your wife has a clear understanding of her vows to be faithful to you and the covenant that she made before God.  But one day you come home from a long day of being a super hero and you see your children are crying, dirty and hungry, and there is a note from your wife on the kitchen table.  The note states that she wants a divorce and she has left you for your arch nemesis, Lex Luthor!  How would you feel toward your wife?  How would you feel toward Lex Luthor?         



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Several verses in the Old Testament refer to God being a Jealous God.  Given that He created everything in existence, I would conclude He has the right to be jealous.  His arch nemesis, Satan, was able to sweet talk God’s most prized possession away from Him on numerous occasions.  When Adam and Eve lived in Eden, Satan took on the appearance of a serpent and was able to persuade Eve to perform an act which God specifically told them not to indulge in.  The very first commandment given to the Israelites while they were wandering on the wilderness was to serve God only and refrain from worshipping false gods.  Time after time, they allowed themselves to be influenced by other cultures and they disobeyed God’s command. 

In each of these instances, we see that the act of turning away from God to indulge in the temptations offered by Satan resulted in catastrophe for mankind.  God knew all along if we yield to temptation, there would literally be hell to pay therefore He gave us warnings to help us make the right decisions.  But we are oftentimes hard headed and need to learn the hard way.  Fortunately, we serve a God who loves harder than our hard heads deserve.

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Though God proclaims Himself to be a jealous God, he does not hold grudges.  He still loves us even when we turn against Him.  How do I know that?  Because The Word says so!  After Adam and Eve were banished from Eden, they had children and most likely lived the rest of their lives in hardship.  Being kicked out of Eden was not the end of their story.  Genesis 4:25-26 states that after Adam and Eve became grandparents, “men began to call upon the name of the Lord.”  Adam sought to re-establish a relationship with God as he saw with his own eyes that choosing evil was a foolish decision.  He wanted his descendants to know God and make better choices.  After God led the Israelites into the Promised Land, they almost immediately disobeyed God’s commands.  God already predicted that would happen and offered them a message of hope through Moses that “…you will return to the Lord your God and obey Him.  For the Lord your God is a merciful God…” 

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So God may be jealous and allow us to face consequences when we sin but He is also merciful and will forgive us when we decide to turn away from sin and return to Him. God’s Jealousy is not like man’s jealousy.  When we are jealous, it leads to sin.  Besides, we have no right to be jealous!  We didn’t spend a week creating everything in existence.  We are all part of the creation, we are God’s possessions and so is everything else.  God’s jealousy does not lead to sin.  It leads to redemption and restoration.   

With this being the month of love, let’s be reminded that God is our first love and His love covers a multitude of sins.  His love is unconditional.  If we want to give in to temptation, He will allow us to walk away from Him but if we decide to come back, He will welcome us into his loving arms.  God wants an exclusive relationship with us.  Make the choice to deny temptations like Jesus did and be faithful to God.



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I am an expert and I have a degree to prove it!

The last New Year’s Resolution I made was back in 2010.  I recall it being a huge deal at the time as I had a strong desire to “fix” myself.  I felt like I had quite a few bad habits that I needed to quit in order to get myself on God’s better side.  My resolution was to stop having pet peeves.  Yeah, I know that may be an odd resolution but trust me, it was the best resolution I ever made.  To this date, I am still working on fulfilling that goal and I am not making any more resolutions until I can accomplish this one.  

I made that resolution after I had a nice, long heart-to-heart with myself and realized I was quite judgmental and critical of others.  Considering how messy my life was, I really had no right to judge or even advise anyone else about their personal issues.  But from my perspective, I was so smart and had all life’s answers.  I even made plans to write a self-help book and title it “Do what I say!  I am an expert and I have a degree to prove it!”  I am not even joking...  I was really that full of myself.

 

This reminds me of the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector.  The Pharisee came into the temple, feeling himself, bragging about his perfect lifestyle and how he is better than the Tax Collector.  As the Pharisee gloats with great pride, the Tax Collector is alone in a corner, acknowledging his own shortcomings and pleading with God for mercy.  Jesus told his eager fan club, “I tell you, the Tax Collector, not the Pharisee, returned home forgiven! For the proud shall be humbled, but the humble shall be honored.”  When we are so caught up looking down on others, we forget that we really aren’t as perfect as we think we are.  The mere act of belittling others is a sin in itself!  Jesus called us to love each other and live in peace with each other.  So am I being loving or peaceful if I am pointing out the faults of others with the intent of making them feel like crap?  Who am I to express any displeasure over the actions of another when I have shamed and disgraced God innumerable times? I should be as merciful and gracious to others as God has been to me.

Romans 14 and 15 is also a great source for a lesson in self-righteousness.  It deals with the issue of accepting others’ differences and avoiding unnecessary confrontations.  I have friends who are of different religions and sometimes our customs, rituals and beliefs clash.  My Jehovah Witness friends don’t celebrate birthdays or holidays.  My Muslim and Rastafarian friends have strict diets.  My Catholic friends don’t believe in birth control.  There have been times when we wound up arguing with each other because of these issues.  Mostly because of my feelings of superiority and

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 lack of tolerance.  These days, I avoid being critical of other people’s lifestyle in hopes of achieving my resolution and also to be a better Christian.  A self-righteous attitude does not attract non-believers to Christ.  No one wants to convert to Christianity if that means we all sit around and behave like hypocrites.  The only thing that sets me apart from a non-believer is the fact that God has given me mercy through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross.  I make mistakes and fall short of God’s glory all the time!  What kind of idiot do I look like when I poke fun at someone for trivial things like not having birthday parties and not eating bacon?

What it all boils down to is that those of us in the body of Christ need to cease with the holier-than-thou attitudes and be more like Jesus.  He had no problems serving others.  He never thought twice about helping people in need, regardless of their background.  He never looked down on a single individual.  His actions were so remarkable, he drew crowds wherever he went.  To those people, he gave messages of hope and in turn, they believed in him and made strides to imitate him.  If Jesus was some self-righteous jerk, there would be no Christianity today!  I am learning to be less full of myself and more full of the Holy Spirit.  If you examine yourself and determine you have some work to do in that area, I encourage you to do so without delay.  You never know when you will be in a position to minister to someone and they will need to see the Jesus in you, not the Pharisee…