a tangible faith

Monday, April 7, 2014

Since I was first introduced to my iPhone, I have been addicted to it. From the moment I awake until I fall asleep, I found myself glued to that thing. I was always texting, playing games, checking emails, ordering products, the possibilities were endless! I felt like the iPhone was my lifeline; like it held all my desires and needs. Then I saw the movie “Wall-E”. I felt like I was becoming one of those futuristic fatties who were glued to their electronic communication devices 24/7. Instead of going to visit friends and family, it was sufficient to just send them a quick text or post on Facebook. Instead of playing with my son, I was playing games on my phone. I can’t even count how many times I burnt up dinner while I was busy preparing some virtual meal on my Restaurant Story app. The iPhone, slowly but surely, became my idol.

I always thought of idols like those described in the Old Testament. Animals created from gold and precious jewels that people would actually pray to and worship, literally. I never considered the idea that an idol could be anything that robs my time from God. Anything that has priority over God is an idol!

Needless to say, I had to quit my iPhone addiction cold turkey. I replaced my iPhone with a less sophisticated phone and the only app I have downloaded is a bible app. The first thing I do in the morning is read a daily devotional scripture. I pray to God before I leave the house every morning. I do these things so that I will begin the day with a godly state of mind. Throughout the day, if I have down time, I may watch a little tv or socialize with friends and family but mostly I will take time to read the Bible and work on a project which would bring glory to God. At night, before I go to sleep, I thank God for helping me make it through the day unscathed and for helping me make the most of those 24 hours.

I have noticed I have much more peace and much more joy when I make God the priority in my day. I feel less stress and I feel so much more hopeful. There is a reason the first commandment is to love God with all your heart and put no other gods before Him. When God comes first, all the struggles of the day seem small and you actually accomplish a lot more. Devoting your minutes to God instead of social media, prime time television, secular music and activities, brings so much more fulfillment to life than any of those distractions the devil places in our path. What is your idol today? I challenge you to replace your idols with God’s word. See for yourself how putting God first will transform you into a better person.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Parenting

My two children are my greatest blessings. God gifted them to me at just the right time in my life and they have brought me great joy. Since becoming a mother, I find that I have more motivation than ever to be the best I can be so that my children will have a positive role model in me and be inspired to accomplish the goals they set for themselves in life.

One of my faults in parenting is that I often think of my children as my personal possessions. As a child, I loved playing with dolls. I cared for them like they were human. I always kept their hair brushed and made sure they were well dressed. I even talked to them like they were real and assured them of my love on a regular basis. After my son was born, I treated him exactly the same way as I treated my dolls. I always made sure he had nice clothes and shoes to wear, even if that meant I had to go without quality clothing and footwear. I spent a good portion of my hard earned income on healthy food and quality child care. I smothered him with my love and showered him with any worldly possession imaginable to make sure he was always entertained and well educated. I always told him how much I loved him and I proved it by using all my resources to give him things and opportunities that I did not have when I was a child.

I do the same with my daughter. As a small child, I was very timid and shy. I was often bullied and teased so eventually I learned to be tough as a means to defend myself. After my husband and I were married, I prayed to God night and day for my daughter. Before she was even born, I knew she was going to be the most beautiful, intelligent, confident little girl in God’s creation. From conception, I called her my princess because I want her to be the beautiful, carefree child that I was not. I always call her “my pretty princess” and have begun building the foundation for her to be the woman I want her to be.

Then suddenly I realized I was making a terrible mistake. I was imposing my will on my children instead of allowing them to seek out God’s will for their lives. I was attempting to live vicariously through them, stealing their opportunity to make their own choices, and forcing them to be what I wanted them to be.

After much prayer and meditation on God’s word, I am trying to transform my idea of parenting to allow God to have His way with my children and stop interfering with God’s plan. I know I must trust God with my babies because they in fact are not mine. They are not possessions like the dolls of my childhood. They are God’s creation. God allowed my husband and I to be their parents but that does not make us their owners. We are to teach them God’s word and show them how to live godly lives. We are not to dictate every step of their lives. We must trust God to order their steps just like God has ordered ours. I am confident that if God could do wondrous things in my life, He can do the same with my children. No matter what God has in store for my children, I have to believe that they will be better off in His hands than in any plan I could ever possibly imagine.

Throughout the Bible, there are a multitude of stories of parents and their children. I would recommend everyone to read those stories and be inspired. The story I am most inspired by is Mary and Jesus. Mary knew Jesus’ destiny the moment He was conceived. How painful it must have felt to know her first born son would have to succumb to such a painful, torturous end! How powerless she must have felt to stand there and watch her child murdered at the hands of those He was sent to save! Yet she was obedient and never imposed her will upon her child. She allowed God’s good and perfect plan to transpire and in part of her faithfulness and trust in God, we all are saved by His sacrifice! Let us all be inspired to trust in God to direct the paths of our children for they are our future and only He knows their destiny…

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Be Quiet

When I am angry, upset, frustrated, stressed, I tend to make bad decisions. During those moments, I often find my mind overwhelmed with thoughts and negativity. In the chaos of those thoughts and feelings, I sometimes lash out and say or do things I regret almost instantly. Then I have to humble myself and apologize to those I offended, something I am not usually excited to do... I have wrecked countless relationships based on some wild words loosed from my lips in a fit of rage. Sometimes the damage done in anger can be costly beyond what we can immediately repay. Sometimes the damage done is irreparable.

Between the busyness at home and at work, it is difficult to find a quiet place to just relax and clear my head so I can hear God’s voice in the midst of the chaos. I have to constantly remind myself to use my time wisely. Instead of having a large chunk of time to devote to God at a single point in my day, I find it easier to find God in multiple small moments during the day. While I am in the shower, in the garage after I come home from work, while I am cooking dinner, and when I go to the spa to get my nails done, I pray and ask God to be my strength when I am weak and give me restraint when my flesh wants to cave in to evil.

Before I lash out in anger, I need to remind myself to be quiet and allow God’s peace to cleanse me of those negative thoughts and feelings before they pour out of my mouth or manifest themselves through my actions. As a follower of Christ, we all need to remember the old way of doing business has to become extinct. We can’t continue to have petty squabbles with our loved ones. We can’t curse people out when they are mean and nasty to us. We can’t allow the devil to drag us back to where we came from. In the midst of the tumult and clamor, we have to take a second and really ask ourselves, “How can I resolve this in a manner which would make God proud?” Or even take the classic saying, “WWJD?”

Even a fool is assumed to be wise when he is silent.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Call For Service

This past work week was a spiritually challenging one for me. Each day, I handled calls for service regarding troubled youth. It’s typical for me to respond to situations where children are behaving badly however this week was different. It made me question my effectiveness not only as a police officer but also as a Christian.

I will start with Sierra. A morbidly obese teenage girl with gender identity issues. She is a habitual run away who is known to hang out with adults who will feed her cigarette and alcohol addictions. Sierra was sexually assaulted multiple times and after the most recent assault, she made threats to commit suicide. Sierra attempted to runaway yet again and her parents were forced to physically restrain her in an attempt to keep her home. They were afraid she would make good on her threats to kill herself and felt helpless to stop her. So they called me. When I arrived to their home, Sierra stretched out her arms, ran towards me and hugged me tight. I usually don’t allow people to hug me while on duty but I made an exception for Sierra because she looked like she needed it. With her snot and tears covering my uniform, I thought to myself, “What can I possibly say to make her okay?” As a patrol officer, I have a limited amount of time for each call for service. It’s an overwhelming task to try and effectively fix a lifetime of pain and bad choices in a matter of minutes. I did console her as best I could but I left her feeling like what I gave was not enough…

The following day, I met Lisa. She was in foster care because her mother was serving time in prison. Her extended family would not take her due to her anger management issues. Lisa’s foster mother called for police assistance because she was she was tearing up the house in a fit of rage. When I arrived at the home, Lisa burst into tears. She said she was angry because she felt unloved and no one wanted her. She said she wanted to go home over and over as she cried on my shoulder. My heart cried with her as I once again searched for an encouraging word to leave with her. When I left her, she appeared to be calm and in better spirits however I didn’t feel I gave her what she truly needed…

Last but not least, there was John. At the end of my emotionally draining work week, memories of him came to mind. John was one of my friends in high school. We hung out occasionally in our neighborhood, laughed together during our brief moments away from home and school life. He lived in an abusive home environment, often beaten by his father and older brothers. He didn’t talk about it much but his wounds were obviously visible. I wanted to offer him comfort, an escape, a safe place. But I was a kid too and I didn’t believe I had anything to offer other than my time and attention. John committed suicide in 11^th grade. Whenever I think of him, I feel so much grief. I wish I could’ve been his lifeboat in that raging sea he was drowning in. I wish he could’ve received the help and the love he longed for so desperately. It eats at me that I did not save him…

In our lives, we are sent to calls for service daily. Some we are overly prepared for and some take us by surprise. This is why prayer and bible study is so important! You never know when God will guide you to a soul who needs to be saved and you will be called to lead them out of darkness. Showing love, patience, kindness and sympathy can go a long way in the life of a person who is longing desperately for a ray of hope. Extending yourself to someone in need of a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen can be that lifeline they needed to come out from that dark place. Failure to immerse yourself in God’s Word will leave you tongue tied or cause you to utter empty, cliché words.

It is my prayer that the Lord gives me the ability to answer His calls for service in such a way that I can be a vessel of His love. I pray that God uses me to bring light to someone who is in a dark place and encourage them to find strength in Him. I pray that God uses you, no matter where you are in life, to be aware of His Voice, answer His Call and be a beacon of light in this dark world. We need each other. In order to be a source of hope and comfort to each other, we need God.

Answer His Call.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Friday, February 21, 2014

Forgiveness

When a person harbors unforgiveness, it can have grave physical consequences. It causes muscle tension, digestion becomes inhibited, blood flow becomes restricted and the immune system is weakened.  Psychological and medical studies have shown multiple benefits of forgiveness. Forgiveness can result in improved mental health as it reduces feelings of anger, anxiety, fear and depression. Counselors have used the power of forgiveness as a tool to assist victims of sex related crimes, substance abusers and cancer patients overcome a negative outlook on life and pursue positive thinking.

So now we know forgiveness is a tonic to the mind and body, but what about the soul? Let's take a look at a couple real life examples of the power of forgiveness.
Saul of Tarsus. He was a vicious man. He was taught that Jesus was a fraud and Christians were terrorists. Saul made it his business to extinguish all Christians from the planet to end the spread of Christianity. Until one day, Jesus sought out Saul and made Himself visible to Saul. Upon seeing Jesus and hearing His voice, Saul repented of his sins and became the most prolific prophet in the New Testament. He even changed his name to Paul in an attempt to put his past life behind him. Jesus' sacrifice on the cross made it possible for a murderer like Saul to turn from his wicked ways and be recreated into Paul, one of the biggest proponents of Christianity.

Jeffrey Dahmer. He was a pedophile, murderer and cannibal. Anyone who remembers his story would recall Dahmer as an evil, disgusting, wicked human being.  He lured young men into his home, drugged, raped and tortured them, then murdered them and ate their flesh. The worst part is he was found to be fully conscious of his actions. He was not considered insane; he was just evil and filled with hate. After his conviction, Dahmer was sentenced to prison. While in prison, he was inspired to attend church services and eventually accepted Jesus as his savior. The Word of God transformed this evil man into a born again believer.  He was murdered while serving time in prison.

One of the biggest issues I faced when I rededicated my life to Christ was forgiveness. It was nothing for me to forgive others but for some reason, it took quite some time for me to accept God's forgiveness. I wasn't into such heinous acts as Saul and Dahmer however the life I led before Christ haunted me for so long, it was just difficult for me to accept that I was worthy of forgiveness.
I have learned there is nothing we can do that is so terrible that God cannot forgive. With God, all things are possible, including unlimited forgiveness. When we repent (admit we were wrong, seek God's forgiveness and turn away from ungodly habits) God erases our sins from His memory and cradles us in His loving arms! It's an amazing feeling to know how gracious and merciful our God is!
In return for His forgiveness, we must forgive others who commit evil against us. As children of God, we must follow His lead and mirror His steps. As Jesus hung dying on the cross, He cried out to God for the forgiveness of those who wrongly persecuted Him.
Forgiving others has positive effects on our souls because by mirroring God's grace and mercy, we become closer to God.  Our actions will inspire others to desire a relationship with God.  So let's shed any hatred, any bitterness, any burdens and choose to let go of unforgiveness. Let's celebrate in the power of God to forgive each other and accept His forgiveness!

Monday, January 27, 2014

What am I worth?

Parents give their children validation. There is a correlation between the average child's self esteem and his/her relationship with his/her parents. I have a degree in sociology therefore you can trust what I just stated is true.

For most of my life, I struggled with low self-esteem. My mother often told me how beautiful, intelligent and talented I was and so did many other people in my life. Inside my heart, I did not believe it was true. Even after I received Christ as my Savior, I continued to struggle with these feelings. John 3:16 says God loved the world so much, He sacrificed the life of His Only Son so that we could have eternal life. I understood this meant Jesus' sacrifice absolved me of my sins but I didn't feel like I deserved His forgiveness. I struggled with regret of all the terrible things I had done while "in the world". In an effort to determine why I did not feel so great about myself, I put my memory tape on rewind and attempted to recall who or what made me feel so low.

I began to recall the few and brief moments shared with my father. I remembered a time he took me to his job when I was very little. He bought a pack of plain M&M's for me and I thought it was the most delicious thing I ever tasted. Like manna from heaven! Maybe that is why I am so obsessed with chocolate... I remember he picked me up from school on my ninth birthday. I was so happy to see him, I burst into tears and hugged him with all my strength. I heard a classmate say, "She acts like she never seen her dad before." The truth is, that was the first time had seen in about three years. Our meetings were always few and far between. I believe was around 10 or 11 when I wrote my dad a letter and I asked him why he wasn't around for me and my sisters. At the time our living situation wasn't the best and I felt if my dad was around, he would be able to make things better. He responded to my letter and said I was a pessimist, I should value the time we had spent together and not dwell on negative things. He never said he would visit more often. He never said he would call or write more often. He made absolutely no effort to resolve my concern. Instead, he called me a pessimist and left me to assume I was ungrateful and unworthy of his love and care.

After that, I recall many moments when I accepted less than what I should have. I allowed myself to be used and abused by people. I did not care much about my progress in school or my work ethic at the dozens of jobs I had. I didn't believe anyone truly cared about me and I didn't care about myself or others. I often questioned why I was ever born, to live such an awful life with one stumbling block after another and no relief in sight.

God's word became my relief. This world had given me nothing but salt for my wounds. God's word was like medicine to my wounded heart. The more I read about people who were filthy and disgusting creatures transformed into God's sons and daughters, I knew there was hope for me too. But I had to believe it! I had to allow God to replace the seeds my father sowed in my life with seeds that would produce positive, healthy thoughts and behaviors. At this point in my life, I don't have room in my brain for negative thoughts. I push those thoughts out with God's words of encouragement.

I know God loves me if no one on earth does. I know God thinks I am beautiful on my ugliest day. I know God is proud to call me His daughter even when I fail. I don't have to beg God to give me the time day because He is always present in my life. I was not worth much to my dad but that doesn't even matter to me anymore. I am not defined by the opinion of others. God says I am priceless! God is The Father and He has validated me. What are you worth? You are so valuable, a stranger gave his life for you, before you were even born, so that you would not have to suffer the penalty of sin (which is death), but you would have the opportunity to turn away from sin and have a life filled with joy, peace and love for eternity!

In case you haven't noticed, scriptures and videos are hidden in the highlighted texts so be sure to devote a couple minutes to reading His word and get your mind right. Thank you and God bless you.